Cats and dogs have very different reputations when it comes to friendliness. Dogs are often eager to please their owners, craving attention and affection. Cats, on the other hand, tend to be more aloof and indifferent, showing affection on their own terms.
But why is this the case? Are cats simply less friendly by nature? As it turns out, there are some key differences in the genetics, evolution, routine preferences, and social structures of felines compared to canines that shape their interactions with humans.
By understanding the basis for cat behavior, we can better bond with our feline friends and help them become more affectionate companions.
In this article, we’ll uncover the real reasons behind why cats are not as overtly friendly as dogs, along with tips to improve your relationship with your cat.
It’s In Their DNA: The Evolutionary Difference Between Cats and Dogs
Cats and dogs have vastly different domestication histories that have shaped their behavior. The main reason our furry companions act so differently comes down to thousands of years of genetic selection, passed down through generations.
Dogs were the first species to be domesticated, around 30,000 years ago. They originated from wolves, who evolved to cooperate as hunter companions in human tribes. This required social skills and understanding human cues for communication.
Over time, evolution favored friendlier and less aggressive wolves who worked well with people. Further selective breeding eventually produced the domestic dogs we know and love today.
Cats, on the other hand, were not domesticated until around 10,000 years ago when ancient farmers stored grain that attracted mice and rats. Wild cats took advantage of this rodent buffet and stuck around farming communities.
These feline predators were valued for their superior mousers, not their friendly temperaments. With their job security locked in, cats had little evolutionary pressure to become more social or reliant on human interaction. They maintained greater genetic similarity with their wildcat ancestors.
In essence, dogs evolved to meet our emotional needs for cooperation and companionship, while cats retained more traits geared towards solitude and independence as hunters.
This still shapes pet behavior today. Studies show dogs release more bonding “feel good” hormone oxytocin from interactions with both humans and fellow dogs. Cats produce less oxytocin overall and mainly reserve this instinct for kitten rearing.
Tip: Deep down, cats still view the world like solitary hunters while dogs have an innate drive to “run in packs” and bond with their human and canine tribes.
Cats Show Affection in Their Own Unique Ways
Many cat owners wonder if their kitty even likes them from the apparent indifference they often display. But research reveals cats can be just as affectionately bonded to their owners as dogs.
Rather than an outright lack of friendliness, the disconnect comes from cats expressing fondness for their families differently than dogs do. You need to understand your cat’s more subtle social signals.
Some key signs your feline does genuinely care for you:
- Slow blinking – Also known as a “cat kiss,” this extended, relaxed eye closure communicates trust and affection. Blink slowly back at your cat to return the gesture.
- Kneading and sucking – Like nursing kittens, some cats knead blankets or clothing and suckle as a comforting habit, signaling contentment.
- Exposing belly – Contrary to dogs, a cat rolling over to expose their stomach indicates deep relaxation and trust in your presence. Resist the urge to rub – this can overstimulate them.
- Gift-giving – While less common than in dogs, some cats demonstrate affection by leaving “gifts” of prey trophies or other treasures for their favored humans.
- Chatting – Cats meow almost exclusively for human communication. Frequent meows, chirps and trills directed your way, especially with eye contact, mean your cat digs you.
Tip: Pay attention to your cat’s body language and vocalizations directed specifically towards you for signs they care – these are the feline equivalent of dog kisses!
Why Routine Is So Important to Cats
While a dog may excitedly bound towards each new experience, a cat likely hangs back, uneasy with unfamiliarity. This difference in embracing novelty helps explain why cats seem less friendly.
Cats feel safest and most secure with strict routines and predictable environments. Disrupting this status quo causes stress that manifests as skittish or aggressive “unfriendly” behavior.
In contrast, dogs are more adaptable by nature as pack animals bred to handle changing circumstances. Unlike their canine counterparts, cats:
- Dislike environmental changes – Altering furniture layouts, adding new members to the home, or clutter can upset cats who rely on recognizing territory.
- Need consistency – Cats feel reassured by daily schedules for feeding, playtimes, and other care. Varying routines is confusing.
- Don’t take well to disruptions – Events like moving homes, traveling, parties or construction are very destabilizing.
- Are slow to warm up – Cats require gradual introductions to new pets, people or environments at their own guarded pace.
Tip: Stick to a consistent schedule, make gradual changes, and avoid abrupt disruptions to minimize stress on your cat. Their friendliness suffers when their stability goes out the window.
Why Early Socialization Is Critical
You know that crucial puppy window for socialization skills? Well, the same applies to kittens – and it ends even sooner.
Feline socialization occurs earlier, from 2-7 weeks old. Without positive interactions with humans during this timeframe, cats are liable to grow up more skittish and unfriendly.
Under socialized cats:
- Struggle to interpret gentle human touch, seeing hands as threatening.
- Lack bite inhibition and attack more aggressively when overstimulated.
- Feel more insecure and stressed by human handling.
- Have difficulty learning to enjoy petting, cuddling or being held.
Additionally, poor early socialization makes cats reactive towards other animals. Feral and stray cats often attack rather than avoid unknown cats or dogs due to insufficient social skills.
Tip: For friendly feline behavior, kittens should experience gentle handling, play, and care from 3 weeks of age minimum. The earlier the better!
Why Some Cats Are More Aloof Than Others
While evolution and early development contribute to courteous canines versus standoffish cats, some felines are still more distant than others. Certain factors cause cats to be less friendly on an individual level:
1. Trauma and Negative Experiences
Cats with histories of abuse, trauma or frequent stressful events often become very mistrustful and unfriendly towards humans. Negative past interactions can make them quick to bite, scratch or run away when approached.
2. Medical Issues
Underlying physical causes like dental disease, arthritis, vision or hearing loss also make cats irritable and reactive. The discomfort and disorientation understandably puts them on edge.
Cats also suffer from psychogenic medical conditions influencing behavior like:
- Hyperesthesia syndrome – This disorder causing skin sensitivity makes cats unpredictably lash out from feeling phantom insect bites.
- Hyperthyroidism – An overactive thyroid causes sudden aggression along with other symptoms like weight loss.
- Dementia – Senior cats struggling with neurological decline often react unfriendlly from confusion or failing vision/hearing.
3. High Baseline Anxiety
Like humans, some cats’ temperaments simply tend towards skittishness and aloofness. Breeds like Persian and Siamese are predisposed to high-strung and anxious personalities requiring patience.
Tip: If you rescue or adopt a cat with an unknown background, schedule a veterinarian visit to medically clear them before concluding the cat has behavior issues.
Why Most Cats Don’t Have an Innate Social Structure
One major trait cats lack in relation to bonding that dogs intrinsically have is a natural social structure. Dogs instinctively understand social cooperation passed down from their wolf ancestors.
Pack animals know there is safety, efficiency and companionship working as a unit. This means dogs innately comprehend concepts like following leadership, waiting their turn, sharing resources and reading each other’s body language.
Unlike wolves, big cats like lions are really the only major feline species to operate socially. And even lions primarily form small family prides lacking intricate social networks.
With no inborn group dynamics, the average domestic cat struggles to interpret cues from either humans or fellow felines. They haven’t evolved to communicate or emotionally connect on a social level.
This contributes to aloofness even towards their own kind. While feral and outdoor cats form loose communities focused on territory and mating rights, they don’t have daily close companionship bonds.
Tip: Support multiple cat households by properly introducing new cats, maintaining separate key resources like food bowls, and providing individual playtimes to avoid tension.
How to Make Your Cat More Friendly
While cats will always retain more independence than dogs, don’t resign yourself to a grumpy, unaffectionate feline roommate. There are many techniques to smooth kitty quirks and help them thrive as happier household companions.
Increase Bonding Through Play
Cats don’t outgrow a youthful desire to play – they remain keen to chase, pounce and stalk their whole lives. Play therapy strengthens the bond between cats and their people.
Interactively playing with your cat helps them:
- Burn energy – Less boredom and frustration.
- Build confidence – Braver with new people and environments.
- Relieve stress – Outlets for anxiety and reactions.
- Trust you more – Fun times build positive associations.
Dedicate 10-15 minutes 1-2 times daily to play sessions. Use fishing pole type toys to trigger their prey drive and get them dashing about. Finish up by letting them “catch” the toy and offer calm praise.
Clickertraining for Desirable Behavior
While cats can prove more stubborn than eager-to-please pups, felines can still learn tricks and good manners. Clicker training uses positive reinforcement to encourage wanted behaviors.
Follow these clickertraining steps:
- Get kitty’s attention with a “bridge signal” like a clicker device or snapping fingers.
- The instant they do what you want, mark the behavior with the signal.
- Quickly reward with a treat or petting.
- Gradually extend the desired response before rewarding.
- Wean off food treats over time to a variable schedule.
- Eventually phase out the bridge signal as the behavior becomes habitual.
Patience is key – have many tiny training sessions instead of long ones to keep it fun.
Tip: Examples of friendly behaviors to clickertrain include coming when called, tolerating handling, sitting for petting and walking calmly on a leash.
Proper Introductions to New People and Pets
Cats readily distrust the unfamiliar. But ambushes or forcing interaction only teaches them to dislike visitors and other animals.
Here’s how to properly introduce cats to new arrivals:
For people:
- Allow cat to quietly observe newcomer from a hiding spot.
- Ask person to avert direct eye contact and refrain from touching cat.
- Once cat emerges, offer high value treats from a distance.
- Have visitors toss toys or treats to gently encourage interaction over time.
- Never grab or restrict cats during introductions.
For other pets:
- Start with scent swapping items between pets’ spaces.
- Feed pets on opposite sides of closed door to associate good things.
- After a week, do visual introductions with pets in carriers.
- Very slowly graduate to short supervised encounters.
- Ensure new pets give cats space and let them approach first.
Tip: Rushing introductions overwhelms cats, triggering fearful or aggressive reactions, so take it slow over days to weeks.
Provide Environmental Enrichment
Even friendly cats have limits on direct human interaction. As introverts at heart, they need their own spaces to recharge.
Enrich their environment so when they opt to be alone, animals stay happily occupied, not ornery from boredom.
Set up key “cat infrastructure” in your home:
- Cozy beds – Offer a range of nap platforms, cube beds, donut beds, etc.
- Cat trees – Vertical space appeals to agile cats with multiple perches.
- Scratching posts – These redirect destructive scratching to appropriate outlets.
- Toys – Stock puzzle feeders, mouse toys, play tunnels, catnip kickers.
- Water fountains – Hydration fountains appeal to cat instincts for fresh running water.
- Litter boxes – Provide 1 more box than you have cats. Scoop daily.
- Outdoor access – Let them view or safely access outdoor spaces.
Rotate novel toys to keep their environment engaging when they opt for alone time.
Why You Should Adopt Two Cats for Double the Fun
While cats aren’t innate social butterflies like dogs, they can still benefit from feline company. If you’re wondering why cats aren’t friendly, getting a second kitty can help.
The pros of adopting two cats include:
- Companionship when you’re not home to ward off loneliness.
- Playmates to wrestle, chase and burn energy together.
- Reduced stress and anxiety when a buddy bolsters their confidence exploring surroundings.
- Added entertainment from their hilarious antics together.
Introduce a second cat properly following previously outlined tips. Littermates do well together if adopting kittens.
An older cat will accept a kitten easier than another adult. But two adult cats can still coexist with slow acclimation to each other’s presence.
Tip: Adding a second cat doubles your feline fun. They’ll keep each other occupied when you’re busy!
Final Thoughts
When it comes to cats and dogs, there’s no denying dogs take the cake for overt friendliness in most cases. But while you can’t expect your cat to perform tricks on command or smother you with sloppy kisses, that doesn’t mean they feel any less love for their families.
The key is understanding cats show affection through more nuanced body language and care best when their routine needs for security are met.
While early development and genetics make cats inclined towards independence, taking the time to build trusting bonds through tactics like play, clicker training, environmental enrichment and additions like a second cat can help them become more affectionate, confident pets.
They may not wag their tails or greet you at the door when you get home, but cats still forge genuine attachments. Once earned, your cat’s unwavering loyalty through their unique brand of friendship continues to surprise and delight.
So be patient, go at their pace, and soon your cat will be seeking your lap for cuddles. By learning their language, you can nurture the loving potential hiding behind even the crustiest cat exterior.
